"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with," a famous quote by Jim Rohn
Hear me out. I know this quote is controversial, but I have found it to be wildly true! Something I've noticed recently, is that when I am speaking to young people and fellow entrepreneurs, I am hearing that many women do not understand how to curate their tribe or where to start. No fear, I am here to help! Below I am going to give you an understanding of what to look for and avoid in curating your tribe.
Empathy, compassion and understanding are three key values that should not only live within you, but the people you are around the most. Whether we like it or not, the people around us have the power to shift our mindset. That is why it is so important that our value sets are not only aligned, but practiced. For example, if your best girlfriend just got dumped by a guy that was horrible in the first place, your job as a friend is to show empathy, compassion and understanding. You should be there to support her, lift her up and make her feel good about herself again. Also, if she asked your opinion about him before this happened, you should have been honest with her in the most kind way possible. It is important to be honest without inserting our own preconceived notion. In other words, be honest, but not judgemental. We have ALL gone through shitty men. Now here is the flip side. If you were honest, she ignored you (which happens all the time) and they stay together, but she still complains and displays toxic behaviour. Maybe this is the time to cut ties with this friend because she does not align with your values and it will only bring toxicity into your friendship.
The Cheerleader is the idea that if you win, I win. Again for the people in the back. If you win, I win! There is so much room for success, happiness and greatness. There is no reason anyone if your life should say or believe that you do not deserve these things. ALL of your friends and close relationships should display the cheerleader mentality. If they do not, this might be holding you back and preventing you from achieving your big fat dreams. I have some crazy dreams, in fact, I have new ones often and my friends and loved ones are totally on board and ready with the pom poms in the air. This is how it should be! Are the closest people in your life your biggest cheerleaders?
The badger is the person you don't want in your inner circle. The person who says, "well that is a crazy idea, you will never do that" or "how do you have the time, money, energy... blah blah blah." This is the same person who gives you business advice, but doesn't own a business. Or gives you life advice, but doesnt have their own life together. Do not take advice from people who have not done what you are doing. That is absolutely key! Also, do not give your time to these people, they will suck your energy and will not provide value to you in a friendship or relationship of any kind.
The Inspiration is the person in your life that inspires you to be better. You should have someone in your inner circle, if not more than one to inspire you to do, feel and think in a bigger capacity. This person is usually the ambitious person in your inner circle who is setting out to or already doing big things with their life. This person will push you to achieve your unique goal, whatever that might be. Their energy is contagious.
All Heart is the person who will keep you grounded and loved. People who operate with their heart first are the best and you should always embrace them. These people will keep you grounded and make sure that what you are doing is what you actually want to do. You should be able to be vulnerable with your inner circle and trust that they have your back and you have theirs at all times.
At the end of the day, if you look at the people closest to you and want to hang out with them full heartedly, they make you feel great and energized when you are around them, those are your people. Leave no room for negativity, bad energy people who have no interest in returning the same love and energy that you are willing to put out. Remember that people can come and go in and out of your life and that is completely normal. Not every person you meet is meant to be a part of your story, but those who you choose to keep around you, can certainly shape it.